Nobody in Particular,
How the heck have you been?! All apologies for not having written to you the last two weeks, but though I had every intention to write a letter each way to and from Amsterdam the truth is I just didn't have it in me. The WiFi connection on the international leg of the trip was terrible and I could barely browse a basic webpage. This was all the rationalization I needed to shut down any effort or attempt right then and there, yet it still bothered me because I feel as if I failed you, my dear readers 🥹
I’ll be completely candid with you, Nobody, I’m struggling. Since starting my full time role with Lucky Friday six months ago, it has been an amazing whirlwind of activity. I feel as if I am always running at the redline of my mental engine, trying to do way too many things at once. At any given moment I feel as if all the plates I’m trying to keep up in the air and spinning will all come crashing down at the same time…
But I only share this out of a sense of solidarity, because I believe many people feel the same way and still find a way to carry on, anxiety be damned.
And today’s letter also dovetails nicely with the previous one, because as I noted in that one it’s never too late to pick ourselves up, dust ourselves off, and move forward with our lives. All it takes is a single choice and then continuing to put one foot in front of the other from there 💪
The prerequisite to all of this, however, is knowing yourself. The title of today’s letter is actually the fourth tattoo I ever put on my body well over 20 years ago. It may be familiar because “Know Thyself” (Nosce Te Ipsum is the Latin equivalent to the original Ancient Greek Gnothi Seauton) was one of the three maxims inscribed in the forecourt of the Temple of Apollo at Delphi. Although they no longer exist, much of the temple complex ruins can be visited to this day.
The injunction is an important one, yet it is not easy to know ourselves for various reasons. For one, we are constantly changing and evolving on a personal level every single day of our lives, hopefully for the better. Beyond this, though, the act of knowing ourselves requires a lot of introspection, and in the 21st century when so much of our time and attention is devoted to all that is external to our own psyche, it is difficult to even set aside time to really think about who you are and how you want to act in the world.
There are, however, a few practices that I would encourage you to try, Nobody in Particular, especially if you want to get to know yourself better:
Meditation - as an avid meditator for nearly 14 years, there is perhaps no better way to truly know yourself than taking time each day to really investigate what’s going on inside your head. The term most associated with this technique is called vipassana or “insight” meditation. In essence, you are simply observing the mind and what it conjures up in any given moment. What you will discover over time is that you are not your thoughts, and that pure consciousness is something that is “witnessing” all these phenomena as they arise. This “witness mind” (as it is called in yoga circles) is what picks and chooses which thoughts to act upon, and it is a powerful tool in discerning which choices and actions will shape who you are in the outer world.
Journaling - although I have had a start-stop relationship with journaling over the years, it has always been a helpful practice when I engage in it. When I was in the classroom as a teacher, as much as I could I incorporated time for “free writing” at the outset of our class because I knew it would help my students clarify their own thinking. There’s a wonderful reciprocal relationship between thinking and writing because even the act of putting pen to paper or fingers on a keyboard confines you to a certain line of thought, helping us crowd out what is necessary and focus on what is most critical. Doing this daily will also help you get to know your own mind and what it subconsciously desires.
Dialogue - most of the conversations we have are mundane and do not produce exciting thoughts. Dialogue is much more than this, though. When done with an excellent interlocutor, a high quality dialogue about a particular idea or set of propositions can be quite rewarding as an act of thinking things through. But it will also help you discover yourself as you express your opinions about a given situation or point in the discussion. If you are paying attention throughout a great dialogue with someone, you will likely get to know not only that other person but understand yourself a bit better too.
The biggest value in getting to know yourself is that you can always be your most authentic self in any given situation. But it also will help you know and impose limits on what you can and cannot do. We must all be careful about how we limit ourselves—as we know limiting beliefs can be destructive—but we must also recognize that there is a wisdom in limiting ourselves as well. We can’t be everything to everyone. We cannot extend our time and attention beyond our personal mental bandwidth, no matter how much we may want to. I will continue to do my best to write to you each week, Nobody, but if I fail you again it is only because I am reaching my own limits and cannot afford to burnout. But through it all I continue to learn more about myself and how I am changing over time…and I hope the same for you too 🙏❤️🙇♂️
Namaste, Pax Vobiscum, and Much Love,
Ryan / Phunky